Clinical Rage and Other Maladies

So right now I just need to have a bit of a rant about my day.

I had finally taken care of allllll the paperwork for the fertility clinic (seriously, I think I've seen less paperwork when I was in school and the questions were probably easier there too) and I asked them... where to from here?

I mean, every time I think I know what I'm doing I find out I had it wrong or there's some other step I have to take first and it's frustrating. So it's a genuine question. I do not have the time, or the money, or the intent... to take this concept of baby producing lightly, and I can't afford in ANY respect to mess it up. I'm trying my best not to be stupid, but I'm getting overwhelmed, and then I lose confidence in myself. 

The clinic staff said.. go and see your specialist for the next part. Alrighty then, I thought and made an appointment for the next available day I had off. This was today. 

My specialist bluntly asked me what I was doing there. 

A little out of character for him and definitely the wrong way to approach someone who is literally just paying for your time and needing your advice and assistance. But I told him what has happened so far and he said "no, you should be speaking to the clinic about getting the ball rolling". Well as I was paying for his damn time I made sure he worked for it so we went through medications, prescriptions and the next procedures, and my last blood results. 

Next thing I thought I'd do would be to call the clinic (they weren't too far away from the specialist but the parking is a nightmare) and they were just kinda like "oh yeah, we can order these drugs for you.. come back in like two hours". 

Annoying, but understandable as I'd technically just ordered them today but why wasn't it mentioned before now? That when I asked "WHAT DO I DO NOW GUYS?!" the answer was bugger off and not "oh by the way to get things started, let us know when you want to order the drugs you need to take before we can do anything involving your womb."

"And also bugger off."

I figured well, it's not worth going home so I'll just hang around and read a book or something but before I can crack one open I get a call from the pharmacy who say "Hey there, about those drugs you need, you gotta pay up front, not at pick-up and it's going to be at least $250.00. Credit card details?"

Unfortunately, it's not my pay week, and after paying bills - including some unexpected ones - already and budgeting like a boss - I just didn't have enough on my card to do it today and I told them so. I was probably naive about the whole thing, but I did not expect it would cost that much. I mean, one of these drugs were $110 alone! 

This lady then asks me if I can pay in a couple of hours. I reply that I'd like to, I just haven't got the 

ability to make money appear in that time-frame and that I'd have to arrange it another day. Gosh, but was she pushy. I really don't think she would object if I went out straight away and knocked over a liquor store or something to get this money - as long as they got paid. 

How everyone must see me, obviously

After this call for example, they called me straight back and basically told me to book in another time RIGHT THIS SECOND and after initially being taken aback, I said "well how about I call you and let you know when I can come in because my roster is all over the shop?"
Which it is, and besides, the area this place is somewhere you want to avoid at peak times, so asking me to come in on Monday at 9AM is ridiculous and makes me wonder if these people believe I have a job at all? I don't know any job I've been in be not busy on Mondays, except perhaps in the evenings. They still pushed for earlier and just didn't seem to be able to take the hint.

They didn't seem to know what to do which was strange because surely not everyone that goes in to these things are rich. I don't know if they were judging me, maybe thinking what is this poverty riddled skank think she's doing, trying for a child? I hope not. Especially considering I had a lot more free money before finding out I had to go through IVF and I've spent a considerable amount on these people already and it's seemingly just being thrown into a gaping void before I even get to the actual procedures.


I guess what bugs me the most is that there has been a definite change in the level of helpfulness these people have shown me ever since I handed in this paperwork and my credit card details. That's worrying because obviously I'm now sort of locked in with these people for a service that involves them being close to my junk and charging me an arm and a leg for the privilege. I'm hoping it was just maybe an off day for them and they'll go back to treating me how I treat them.

All I can say is that there better be a marked improvement or come my crimson tide they better be ready to surf for their lives.