In the News: Landmark rights granted

The Brisbane Supreme Court has been in the news recently because of a landmark decision where a Toowoomba based woman has been granted the right to use the sperm of her deceased partner to make a baby.

Ayla Cresswell had been in a relationship with Joshua Davis for three years and like many couples, they had goals and aspirations about getting married, buying a house and starting a family.
Sadly, Mr Davies took his own life in 2016 without any apparent warning signs.

After speaking to his parents following the incident about how she wished she was pregnant, Mr Davies parents decided to help Ms Cresswell get an urgent court order for removal of sperm, which was approved and removed approximately 48hrs after Mr Davies passed away.




The court had heard about Ms Cresswell having the full blessing and support from both Mr Davies and her own family  for this, as well as the support of a lot of Mr Davie's friends who provided evidence that they were aware of his desire for children.

'Joshua told me that he was very excited at the prospect of being a father, and we often talked about having children, and the effect it would have on our lives,' Ms Cresswell told the court.

In one of my favourite comic books 'Strangers in Paradise' - there's a similar sort of situation in which David is revealed to be dying. He recently got together with Casey - who had been pining after him for years. She is devastated and worried that with him gone, she may forget the sound of his voice. She wants to give him a child who can grow up to learn how wonderful her father was but due to past issues, she's unable to conceive a child. Their mutual friend and protagonist Katchoo readily volunteers for the job so the child will be born out of their mutual love. 

So obviously it's a little different but you get what I mean. This child represents a legacy, and a fulfilment of the life the couple dreamed of together but now can't accomplish side by side. I think it's normal to wish for something like that, especially in the wake of something so tragic. 

I keep on hoping.. for cake, by the kitchen counter....

Another post, another celebratory day.

I'm not happy.

I should be, we just had an epic Australia Day BBQ at our house that a lot of our friends came to, the food was great, music was good, atmosphere was 10/10.. it was a great day.

And now at the end of the night it's like.. what happened?

My husband is annoyed people went home fairly early (I don't see it as a problem because we intending on staggering the guests through-out the day), personally I didn't expect anyone to stay super late because of this and the fact that it was a very hot day. People are exhausted just being outside. He wanted to have a few drinks with friends later in the evening, and I get it. I do.

Now he's wasted and ranting about everything, he even dropped a freakin' cake because he tried to pick it up single-handedly (it was a very large cake). Luckily, I was on hand with a giant spatula to pancake-flip most of it back onto the platter and clean the rest of it up quick smart.

We had talked about this - I told him I didn't want him getting super drunk because we're mid cycle and I need his sperm to not be hungover. Obviously this didn't sink in and I feel like my usually pretty perfect husband kinda flipped me the bird here. He's then gone on to discuss our IVF situation with a friend of ours (a good friend, mind) which isn't the end of the world but I thought we were discussing together who we were going to tell before just doing it. This happened before with another friend, recently as well.

That, and whenever anyone asked if I was drinking he'd sorta say 'oh, she can't.' It seemed like he was kinda daring them to ask why. Again, I can understand this because it's frustrating. I would love to talk about this to more people so I don't feel so alone.. I would shout it from the rooftops!
But the more people that know about it... I feel like there's more pressure on me to perform. I feel like there's going to be the sympathetic tongue clucking when I don't or can't perform. I feel like I can't deal with that, and it's stressing me out more than ever.

Served up Yummy Mummys.... But have we had enough?

My mother told me about a reality show called Yummy Mummys, with a foot note that it's probably just going to be for laughs. Holy hell, it's something but I'm not sure if I can even make it through this first episode!

I'm not really a fan of reality television because let's face it, it's lazy, it's all staged, it reminds me that the Kartrashians still exist... You know, that kind of thing. My idea of a good reality show is Drawn Together. 

Anyway, this show is centred around three mums to be from Melbourne and one clique invader from Adelaide. 

Jane - a model - seems to be a quieter person than the rest, she's already a mother and seems to have the best dress sense.

Lorinska is a primary school teacher who doesn't seem to understand motherhood, she's afraid of breastfeeding due to a unfortunate incident when she was a kid but also thinks she'll just pop back into her pre-pregnancy size immediately. She does have some classic reaction faces though.

Rachel is my favourite so far, she's a state retail manager but is a bit more down to earth and has a sense of humour about it all. She kinda reminds me of a shorter version of Sarah Jessica Parker.

Over in Adelaide though we have a horrible caricature of a rich useless brat. This is Maria who feels that every mother should have a giant powder room, matching outfits for her, her man, baby and dog, and has apparently stock piled for a baby apocalypse judging by the amount of baby shoes and things she's hoarding. She's a self confessed label slave and monograms all of her designer bags to make sure everybody knows. 

Am I being too harsh on Maria? Nope. 

Dinosaurs, cake, feelings and parties

Well my last post was a bit angry so hopefully this one will be a bit more upbeat.

Recently we went to a dinosaur themed 1st birthday and you better believe it was as cute as it sounds!

                                                  

We had super advanced notice so we were looking forward to it but also kinda apprehensive as well. 

Reason being.. we knew we were likely going to be the only people there without kids. 

This of course, was in fact the case bar one other couple. But it's a kid's party and not about us so of course we went and had a great time. It was kinda weird though, there were a few there that were old school chums that we tried to catch up with but every-time a conversation started it was immediately interrupted by a child saying something, doing something, or not being seen in the nearby vicinity and therefore likely up to no good. 

Error 404: Child not found

Another thing was that we weren't too sure what to do with ourselves or where to stand without getting in a kiddies warpath.

Tennis balls, Babies, Social Media, Female rights and all that jazz

If you get most of your news from Snapchat, then you already know about Serena Williams being awesomely pregnant. 

If you're like me, and distrust modern technology devoted to posting photos of yourself that's fuelled by the screams of people who inadvertently spy a Kartrashian... then you may get your news from other sources. 

"But blogging about yourself is fiiine!"

So it turns out Serena Williams - a woman already known for basically being an ass-kicking tennis Terminator - is expecting a child. Not only that, she was already pregnant when she won the 2017 Australian Open. She also did not drop a set. For those who don't speak fluent Tennis, it's important to note that dropping the set is not comparable to say, dropping the bass. You can drop the bass all you like, but don't you dare drop that set!

Where am I going with this? Oh yes. Something happened to a woman, now the world must have their say, damnit!

Sneaking backstage at the Lab Tour!

"You'll never guess where I've been!"

So last week, I took up the option that was offered to me at the IVF information night - a chance to go behind the scenes at the clinic itself and investigate their shady dealings with folk like me..

Wait, no, that was the previous week. This time it was honestly just to check out the techniques and so forth at the clinic.

I was able to drag hubby to it too... he initially wasn't keen, especially after work. I guess it's not exactly the hot nightlife we normally shun. 

There was a point where I was doubting if it was worth going but then I put my foot down because it's important that we're both involved in this process, I was curious about what we were going to see and I wanted to eat out at some of the nice restaurants out that way.

My working hours allow me time off to go to these things during the day but then I have to remember and explain things to hubby later on, or bury him alive under the tonnes of fascinating paperwork we have to absorb so I felt this was the kindest, easiest option. 

Why Sweden is absolutely Pwning Australia

Multiculturalism is great. 

It lets us respect other cultures and customs and co-exist happily, maybe learning from some and providing an example for others.

Like, let's say.... benefits after childbirth. 

Pictured: Swedish dads

The Swedish parental scheme encourages both mother and fathers to take up to 90 weeks of paid parental leave. It's paid at 80% of their salary for the first 78 weeks, then goes back to the minimum wage. This leave doesn't even have to be consecutive - it can be used any time up until their child turns eight. In a pro-active push for higher father involvement in these early stages, the men are offered three months which they can take or leave. 

What does Australia have to offer?

The primary carer (more often than not - mother dearest) gets 18 weeks at minimum wage. If you're a dad, you can have two weeks. 

Pictured: the Government hitting Aussies where it hurts