Another post, another celebratory day.
I'm not happy.
I should be, we just had an epic Australia Day BBQ at our house that a lot of our friends came to, the food was great, music was good, atmosphere was 10/10.. it was a great day.
And now at the end of the night it's like.. what happened?
My husband is annoyed people went home fairly early (I don't see it as a problem because we intending on staggering the guests through-out the day), personally I didn't expect anyone to stay super late because of this and the fact that it was a very hot day. People are exhausted just being outside. He wanted to have a few drinks with friends later in the evening, and I get it. I do.
Now he's wasted and ranting about everything, he even dropped a freakin' cake because he tried to pick it up single-handedly (it was a very large cake). Luckily, I was on hand with a giant spatula to pancake-flip most of it back onto the platter and clean the rest of it up quick smart.
We had talked about this - I told him I didn't want him getting super drunk because we're mid cycle and I need his sperm to not be hungover. Obviously this didn't sink in and I feel like my usually pretty perfect husband kinda flipped me the bird here. He's then gone on to discuss our IVF situation with a friend of ours (a good friend, mind) which isn't the end of the world but I thought we were discussing together who we were going to tell before just doing it. This happened before with another friend, recently as well.
That, and whenever anyone asked if I was drinking he'd sorta say 'oh, she can't.' It seemed like he was kinda daring them to ask why. Again, I can understand this because it's frustrating. I would love to talk about this to more people so I don't feel so alone.. I would shout it from the rooftops!
But the more people that know about it... I feel like there's more pressure on me to perform. I feel like there's going to be the sympathetic tongue clucking when I don't or can't perform. I feel like I can't deal with that, and it's stressing me out more than ever.
So here I was, enjoying the after glow of a great party when this happened and then I'm brought back down to Earth, to the futile realisation that I'm facing an uphill battle that just keeps getting steeper, the boulder I'm trying to push up there keeps getting heavier and I don't know how much longer I can keep going before I'm flattened by everything.
We had a scan yesterday and things weren't looking so ace but trying to stay positive and adhere to the new plan but it's just hard. I had been trying so hard not to think about it today because I want to stay positive and not be a downer but it still gets thrown in my face.
I didn't even want a long night! We were out all night at a concert last night and we got a bunch of other things going on this weekend. I don't want to be knackered by the time Monday rolls around.
Now I've got to go move a bunch of useless furniture items out of my bedroom so we can go to sleep.
For some reason, he was super concerned that the fact that we had a bed frame (that we can't even USE in the room anyway) given to us, this was sitting in the hall behind a partition wall (so literally, in NOBODY'S WAY) might be somewhat offensive to our guests even though we're all outside anyway and they'd have to be lost or stupid to come across it? So yeah, just HAD to be moved.
I friggin' knew this would happen and I told him not to bother moving it but he did. Now he can't be arsed moving it, and can't move it safely. Did I mention it's super heavy and awkward? Yeah. It is.
Now he's passed out like a lump in my comic room and I'd leave him there if I wasn't concerned about drool on the carpet.
You know, I never drink, mostly because I don't like it. The times I have drunk in excess, something bad has happened. So I don't drink on principle. I usually don't mind being the only sober person at parties but sometimes, when you're the sole voice of reason in a banging orgy of not giving a fuck, it's really hard to be *that* guy without punching people in the face for their drunken stupidity.
This whole post sounds like I'm going to attack my husband but I can't. He's not doing this on purpose (even though if feels like he is) and I know he's dealing with things in his own way. It's just frustrating to no end.
Well, this post has been an angry diatribe. You know wh
I'm not happy.
I should be, we just had an epic Australia Day BBQ at our house that a lot of our friends came to, the food was great, music was good, atmosphere was 10/10.. it was a great day.
And now at the end of the night it's like.. what happened?
My husband is annoyed people went home fairly early (I don't see it as a problem because we intending on staggering the guests through-out the day), personally I didn't expect anyone to stay super late because of this and the fact that it was a very hot day. People are exhausted just being outside. He wanted to have a few drinks with friends later in the evening, and I get it. I do.
Now he's wasted and ranting about everything, he even dropped a freakin' cake because he tried to pick it up single-handedly (it was a very large cake). Luckily, I was on hand with a giant spatula to pancake-flip most of it back onto the platter and clean the rest of it up quick smart.
We had talked about this - I told him I didn't want him getting super drunk because we're mid cycle and I need his sperm to not be hungover. Obviously this didn't sink in and I feel like my usually pretty perfect husband kinda flipped me the bird here. He's then gone on to discuss our IVF situation with a friend of ours (a good friend, mind) which isn't the end of the world but I thought we were discussing together who we were going to tell before just doing it. This happened before with another friend, recently as well.
That, and whenever anyone asked if I was drinking he'd sorta say 'oh, she can't.' It seemed like he was kinda daring them to ask why. Again, I can understand this because it's frustrating. I would love to talk about this to more people so I don't feel so alone.. I would shout it from the rooftops!
But the more people that know about it... I feel like there's more pressure on me to perform. I feel like there's going to be the sympathetic tongue clucking when I don't or can't perform. I feel like I can't deal with that, and it's stressing me out more than ever.
So here I was, enjoying the after glow of a great party when this happened and then I'm brought back down to Earth, to the futile realisation that I'm facing an uphill battle that just keeps getting steeper, the boulder I'm trying to push up there keeps getting heavier and I don't know how much longer I can keep going before I'm flattened by everything.
We had a scan yesterday and things weren't looking so ace but trying to stay positive and adhere to the new plan but it's just hard. I had been trying so hard not to think about it today because I want to stay positive and not be a downer but it still gets thrown in my face.
I didn't even want a long night! We were out all night at a concert last night and we got a bunch of other things going on this weekend. I don't want to be knackered by the time Monday rolls around.
Now I've got to go move a bunch of useless furniture items out of my bedroom so we can go to sleep.
For some reason, he was super concerned that the fact that we had a bed frame (that we can't even USE in the room anyway) given to us, this was sitting in the hall behind a partition wall (so literally, in NOBODY'S WAY) might be somewhat offensive to our guests even though we're all outside anyway and they'd have to be lost or stupid to come across it? So yeah, just HAD to be moved.
I friggin' knew this would happen and I told him not to bother moving it but he did. Now he can't be arsed moving it, and can't move it safely. Did I mention it's super heavy and awkward? Yeah. It is.
Now he's passed out like a lump in my comic room and I'd leave him there if I wasn't concerned about drool on the carpet.
You know, I never drink, mostly because I don't like it. The times I have drunk in excess, something bad has happened. So I don't drink on principle. I usually don't mind being the only sober person at parties but sometimes, when you're the sole voice of reason in a banging orgy of not giving a fuck, it's really hard to be *that* guy without punching people in the face for their drunken stupidity.
This whole post sounds like I'm going to attack my husband but I can't. He's not doing this on purpose (even though if feels like he is) and I know he's dealing with things in his own way. It's just frustrating to no end.
Well, this post has been an angry diatribe. You know wh
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