I will have you know that I was absolutely wrecked on New Years Eve.
No, I don't drink. I'd just come off a few days in a row of work (doing ten or more hours per day) so when I finished work that day and we had to go straight to our mate's party......
I tried to socialise.. I really did. In the end, the crowds, the noise, the horrible cigarette smoke and almost tripping over their dog constantly (If anyone is familiar with Mr. Tiddles from Discworld's Going Postal? Basically an elderly cat so set in it's way that if someone put an obstacle in his path he wouldn't go around it, he would just stop and wait for it to move. At certain times of the day, post office staff had to open the door so Mr. Tiddles could walk through it.) just got to me.
Escaping quietly to the adjacent lounge room inside.. I sat there, looked at memes, designed a dope tattoo flash and ate my meal quietly. I contemplated my life. I thought about the coming year. I longingly thought about sleep. I toyed with the idea of putting my Ipod on even though the stereo seemed to have speakers in every room of the house.
People walked past, occasionally noticing me and asking if I was okay or cracking some joke about how I'd found the good spot.
Everyone there was so nice, and the good thing about being 'the quiet one' is that you can bugger off every now and then and people usually respect that you need your space and leave you alone for a bit. I tried not to be rude, but I was feeling so hollow and lacking in energy that it was very hard not to appear as a total ass face.
Eventually I did socialise and I was kind of ticked off to realise that one of our sometime associate of these parties was pregnant. Well, that did make me feel like an ass face. To be fair, I was angry that she was successfully pregnant.. and she was fine with just sitting in an absolute social smoker's haze with the other drunks. Like.. I can't even comprehend that.
I was born into and grew up in a family that never smoked. Obviously not everyone has the same upbringing.. but it always amazed me that smokers - some of the most cynical bastards you could ever meet in your life - are so blase about the fact that they were paying someone for the right to kill themselves in the stinkiest, most prolonged and disgusting way ever.
It made me want to scream, to laugh, cry and do a bizarre interpretive dance of rage all at once.
It's just not fair that some people can get knocked up so easily and do all the 'wrong' things with no consequences and then some people may never have a child no matter how friggin' careful they are.
How can this be?
The younger girls at work that day were talking about how horrible it would be to get pregnant unexpectedly and I'm sitting there like 'well, that'd be gosh darned nice.'
Having customers relate tales of nightmare tenants that lived in absolute filth (human and animal) and in extremely unsafe conditions.. with their six kids. Listening to this thinking.. no matter how bad my life got, no matter how poverty stricken I was, I would never let a child live in those conditions.
Watching my nephew basically be abandoned by his mother in the most insane, passive aggressive way and thinking how could you ever do that?
Seeing families in shops/playgrounds/restaurants - the parents screaming at or ignoring their multiple children.. wondering why they had so many in the first place, especially when none of the situations called for yelling.
Icing on the cake, several days later I come across this on Facebook, from the mother to be.
No, I don't drink. I'd just come off a few days in a row of work (doing ten or more hours per day) so when I finished work that day and we had to go straight to our mate's party......
I tried to socialise.. I really did. In the end, the crowds, the noise, the horrible cigarette smoke and almost tripping over their dog constantly (If anyone is familiar with Mr. Tiddles from Discworld's Going Postal? Basically an elderly cat so set in it's way that if someone put an obstacle in his path he wouldn't go around it, he would just stop and wait for it to move. At certain times of the day, post office staff had to open the door so Mr. Tiddles could walk through it.) just got to me.
Escaping quietly to the adjacent lounge room inside.. I sat there, looked at memes, designed a dope tattoo flash and ate my meal quietly. I contemplated my life. I thought about the coming year. I longingly thought about sleep. I toyed with the idea of putting my Ipod on even though the stereo seemed to have speakers in every room of the house.
People walked past, occasionally noticing me and asking if I was okay or cracking some joke about how I'd found the good spot.
Everyone there was so nice, and the good thing about being 'the quiet one' is that you can bugger off every now and then and people usually respect that you need your space and leave you alone for a bit. I tried not to be rude, but I was feeling so hollow and lacking in energy that it was very hard not to appear as a total ass face.
Eventually I did socialise and I was kind of ticked off to realise that one of our sometime associate of these parties was pregnant. Well, that did make me feel like an ass face. To be fair, I was angry that she was successfully pregnant.. and she was fine with just sitting in an absolute social smoker's haze with the other drunks. Like.. I can't even comprehend that.
I was born into and grew up in a family that never smoked. Obviously not everyone has the same upbringing.. but it always amazed me that smokers - some of the most cynical bastards you could ever meet in your life - are so blase about the fact that they were paying someone for the right to kill themselves in the stinkiest, most prolonged and disgusting way ever.
It just really ticked me off.. I'm tap dancing on hilariously thin ice trying to do everything I possibly can to increase my chances of having a baby.. and here's some asshole bathing in poisonous ash and feeding it to the unborn child.
It made me want to scream, to laugh, cry and do a bizarre interpretive dance of rage all at once.
It's just not fair that some people can get knocked up so easily and do all the 'wrong' things with no consequences and then some people may never have a child no matter how friggin' careful they are.
How can this be?
The younger girls at work that day were talking about how horrible it would be to get pregnant unexpectedly and I'm sitting there like 'well, that'd be gosh darned nice.'
Having customers relate tales of nightmare tenants that lived in absolute filth (human and animal) and in extremely unsafe conditions.. with their six kids. Listening to this thinking.. no matter how bad my life got, no matter how poverty stricken I was, I would never let a child live in those conditions.
Watching my nephew basically be abandoned by his mother in the most insane, passive aggressive way and thinking how could you ever do that?
Seeing families in shops/playgrounds/restaurants - the parents screaming at or ignoring their multiple children.. wondering why they had so many in the first place, especially when none of the situations called for yelling.
Icing on the cake, several days later I come across this on Facebook, from the mother to be.
May piss me off
sometimes we may fight and i can Been a bitch but we are going been parents and
we can’t Been more happy love this man more then words can’t wait to spend rest
of my life with him
There are times when I wonder what I would do if a) I have a kid and b) the kid takes up advanced algebra and needs a tutor. I'm no great shakes at mathematics but hot damn at least I can speak English. I don't want to come across as a snob here but I feel like that post was the poster child for those movements that was parents to have a licence/pass a test before they can breed. Especially as no one on Facebook called them out on their butchery of the English language.
There are times when I wonder what I would do if a) I have a kid and b) the kid takes up advanced algebra and needs a tutor. I'm no great shakes at mathematics but hot damn at least I can speak English. I don't want to come across as a snob here but I feel like that post was the poster child for those movements that was parents to have a licence/pass a test before they can breed. Especially as no one on Facebook called them out on their butchery of the English language.
Anyway, the night wasn't too bad.
I didn't suck too badly at pool, I was complimented for my singing voice during karaoke bohemian rhapsody, I did my awesome tattoo flash... which I might actually get inked. Plus I had my awesome parrot pants on. You heard me.
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