This blog is because I don't know what to do.
My sister - due in about two months time - has seemingly cancelled the casual family baby shower/BBQ. I'm not even sure why, as I've only heard about it in passing.
So now I'm conflicted because it's her choice and I'll stand by that - no question. On the other hand though - it's the first child on our particular side of the family and it does carry certain obligations. Thirdly.. I was looking forward to it.
I know baby showers are like small weddings these days - seemingly expecting you to hire out a small room, get caterers and decorators.. give mementos to guests... severe theming issues...
which bothers me. You hear jokes about baby showers being so extravagant because there isn't going to be a wedding ha-ha-ha but it seems like you're expected to have a shower, a gender reveal party, a babymoon and all sorts of things that are just blowing it out of proportion.
Yes, it's a big event but it doesn't need to be so big and expensive that it misses the point of relaxing with friends and family in anticipation of your impending birth.
It really does make it seem like we're going back into the whole 'women's lives revolve around babies and nothing else' mentality.
You don't need to go berserk, it's just another stupid, inane way society capitalises on you because you're a woman and therefore a sucker to be taken for your money in several celebratory events.
Yet glossy pregnancy magazines are small how-to spend a million dollars on what should be a smallish event between family and friends.
Does the size and cost of your baby shower directly affect your parenting? No? Hell no. Just do whatever you want and don't feel obligated to throw a high tea the Queen would be jealous of.
But yes, I was kinda looking forward to it. Again, first baby in our segment of the family, second Aussie born baby.. the first kid I'll be an aunt to by birth and not marriage. If there's no shower, there'll still be a baby so it's not so bad but I had already bought a gift and was going to do a commemorative sketch and get to see relatives I don't normally get to see that often.
Besides, I've only ever been to one baby shower despite literally everyone around me exploding in gosh darned babies. Some of it is work related - I work funny hours which makes it difficult to attend social events. These mothers are usually interstate or just have family only events. One of my friends who lives nearby had her shower thrown by her sister as a surprise - which meant no invites for people she wasn't too sure about or didn't know that well, like moi.
The one shower I did attend I was a complete fish out of water. I was so young, still half into my study books and half into employment which is where I met this mother. I was one of the only friends/co-workers that attended, the rest were family that were very nice but still people I had never met before. I'm not exactly a social butterfly either.
The games were.. kinda skewed against people like me so it was hard to have fun doing them. I was the only person there apart from the kids and the mother to be that hadn't had a child - and all the games were quizzes like how big her stomach will be, will it be a boy or a girl, what the kid will weigh/what mum will weigh, which parent the kid will look like.. all things like that.
I had no bloody idea! I don't think about measuring babies or predicting the future based on two people I don't know *that* well. Meanwhile, every other mother is writing down on their lists "oh yes, she's going to be exactly this big, it'll be a boy born at exactly half past two on the third day of June during an eclipse and he'll have a blond Elvis curl facing right and be five pound three precisely. He'll also be allergic to tomatoes."
Like, what? What is this witchcraft?!
There was a pin the dummy on the baby activity that I won. Although I cheated. I cheated at a damn game reminiscent of pin the tail on the donkey because I was sick of failing at the other games. I didn't win anything though. Which is fair enough, because despite the other women's confidence... you can't win those games until after the birth. It's just weird.
Thankfully there weren't any of the weird new trends like melting various chocolates into nappies (my mother's friend went to a shower like that and is still traumatised) or having a vagina shaped cake or freezing tiny plastic babies in ice cubes in order to yell 'my waters broke! (and I think we just hailed Satan!)'
Gift wise I gave little things like child sized coat hangers, bath stuff and I think a toy crept in there. I had actually received a small novel sized 'register' via Facebook but again, I did not know or understand what half of the things were on there.. it was slightly unorganised and didn't want to double up on things and besides.. I wasn't about to shell out for a big ticket item like a pram.
Yes, I still remember that time you didn't help me clean shop because you were busy having a smoke. My grudges are slow burning and ever lasting. Anyway, her family brought her all of those. She's lucky she got what she did from me because I sure as shit could barely afford what I did get her on my working student income.
Anyway, I'm sure she'll change her mind and throw one. I had been kind of hoping that she might even ask myself or our mother to plan it but I know she's not that kind of person. Hell, I didn't even get to go to her pre-wedding celebration and I was a bridesmaid! Not that she really did anything - just a spa day with her bestie. Which again - is fine. I went to a theatre production for my pre-wedding Tigeress night (note it's not a hen's night) and took some family and friends and it was excellent. Point is, we're all about non-conventional celebrations.
If she doesn't want to have a shower then again, I'm going to support her choice even though I really hope she does have one because I know it'd be a reasonable party where I won't be made to feel like shit because I haven't conceived yet and we can just be there to support her even if it's not the stereotypical baby shower. We're cool like that.
My sister - due in about two months time - has seemingly cancelled the casual family baby shower/BBQ. I'm not even sure why, as I've only heard about it in passing.
So now I'm conflicted because it's her choice and I'll stand by that - no question. On the other hand though - it's the first child on our particular side of the family and it does carry certain obligations. Thirdly.. I was looking forward to it.
I know baby showers are like small weddings these days - seemingly expecting you to hire out a small room, get caterers and decorators.. give mementos to guests... severe theming issues...
which bothers me. You hear jokes about baby showers being so extravagant because there isn't going to be a wedding ha-ha-ha but it seems like you're expected to have a shower, a gender reveal party, a babymoon and all sorts of things that are just blowing it out of proportion.
Yes, it's a big event but it doesn't need to be so big and expensive that it misses the point of relaxing with friends and family in anticipation of your impending birth.
It really does make it seem like we're going back into the whole 'women's lives revolve around babies and nothing else' mentality.
 |
| "It's just a casual get together...AT THE RITZ." |
You don't need to go berserk, it's just another stupid, inane way society capitalises on you because you're a woman and therefore a sucker to be taken for your money in several celebratory events.Yet glossy pregnancy magazines are small how-to spend a million dollars on what should be a smallish event between family and friends.
Does the size and cost of your baby shower directly affect your parenting? No? Hell no. Just do whatever you want and don't feel obligated to throw a high tea the Queen would be jealous of.
Besides, I've only ever been to one baby shower despite literally everyone around me exploding in gosh darned babies. Some of it is work related - I work funny hours which makes it difficult to attend social events. These mothers are usually interstate or just have family only events. One of my friends who lives nearby had her shower thrown by her sister as a surprise - which meant no invites for people she wasn't too sure about or didn't know that well, like moi.
The one shower I did attend I was a complete fish out of water. I was so young, still half into my study books and half into employment which is where I met this mother. I was one of the only friends/co-workers that attended, the rest were family that were very nice but still people I had never met before. I'm not exactly a social butterfly either.
I had no bloody idea! I don't think about measuring babies or predicting the future based on two people I don't know *that* well. Meanwhile, every other mother is writing down on their lists "oh yes, she's going to be exactly this big, it'll be a boy born at exactly half past two on the third day of June during an eclipse and he'll have a blond Elvis curl facing right and be five pound three precisely. He'll also be allergic to tomatoes."
Like, what? What is this witchcraft?!
There was a pin the dummy on the baby activity that I won. Although I cheated. I cheated at a damn game reminiscent of pin the tail on the donkey because I was sick of failing at the other games. I didn't win anything though. Which is fair enough, because despite the other women's confidence... you can't win those games until after the birth. It's just weird.
Thankfully there weren't any of the weird new trends like melting various chocolates into nappies (my mother's friend went to a shower like that and is still traumatised) or having a vagina shaped cake or freezing tiny plastic babies in ice cubes in order to yell 'my waters broke! (and I think we just hailed Satan!)'
Gift wise I gave little things like child sized coat hangers, bath stuff and I think a toy crept in there. I had actually received a small novel sized 'register' via Facebook but again, I did not know or understand what half of the things were on there.. it was slightly unorganised and didn't want to double up on things and besides.. I wasn't about to shell out for a big ticket item like a pram.
Yes, I still remember that time you didn't help me clean shop because you were busy having a smoke. My grudges are slow burning and ever lasting. Anyway, her family brought her all of those. She's lucky she got what she did from me because I sure as shit could barely afford what I did get her on my working student income.
Anyway, I'm sure she'll change her mind and throw one. I had been kind of hoping that she might even ask myself or our mother to plan it but I know she's not that kind of person. Hell, I didn't even get to go to her pre-wedding celebration and I was a bridesmaid! Not that she really did anything - just a spa day with her bestie. Which again - is fine. I went to a theatre production for my pre-wedding Tigeress night (note it's not a hen's night) and took some family and friends and it was excellent. Point is, we're all about non-conventional celebrations.
If she doesn't want to have a shower then again, I'm going to support her choice even though I really hope she does have one because I know it'd be a reasonable party where I won't be made to feel like shit because I haven't conceived yet and we can just be there to support her even if it's not the stereotypical baby shower. We're cool like that.
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