Epic Rap Battles of Birth/rebirth

Well before I fully comprehended the media juggernaut that YouTube would end up being, there was a little thing I loved called Epic Rap Battles of History.

I'm a big fan of humour - things like this, Weird Al, Literal Videos, The Key of Awesome... they really get me through when I'm feeling low.

Or Key of Awesome guest starring in ERB....

Or Weird Al featuring on ERB...

They were particularly helpful to me when I was going through a really bad time filled with stress and anxiety. I'd never been confident with public speaking, but about a year and a half ago, I developed a random stutter, and sometimes when I spoke, it was barely intelligible or it was but I was speaking faster than Eminem on Rap God. For the life of me, I could not slow down because if I did, I'd start to stutter. It made my life hard, and embarrassing. Believe me, I certainly didn't need more help with that!

So, I made a CD for my car, updated my Ipod, played my way through multiple YouTube playlists of ERB at home - initially to make myself feel better and because I liked them so much. I found that eventually, I could sing along to these without screwing up and I slowly gained more confidence.

Sure - it wasn't the only factor. But it was a big help in getting me to where I am today - someone who can go on a massive rant and be understood the entire time, even if my rantee tunes out.

That and they're just awesome. A lot of Youtubers will just upload crap every day for the views they need. ERB put things up but only when they're satisfied it's good.

I've personally thought rap music would be better if they got rid of the rappers. Everyone complains about pop singers always being about love and things like that but rappers? With a few exceptions, they are the worst offenders for being racist, sexist, promoting crimes and the new thing.. mumble rapping, rhymes that don't rhyme and brag rapping. Like.. is there nothing else you can talk about?

In three minutes or less - ERB produces a great beat, has lyrics that they've actually thought about and researched (plus they rhyme), costumes and sets that are carefully prepared, excellent guest stars and they always surprise you.
So why does actual rap suck so much compared to this?

Hello, RomeoNovemberKilo....

In the space of three-four weeks, we have not only had my cousin's latest kid with his newest squeeze (have lost track of how many he actually has now) my other cousin's also had a baby - this was a surprise baby but a welcome surprise, another relative overseas has had another child and now, my sister.

Today - I have finally met this baby.

Yep, between a delayed whooping cough booster vaccine, getting the flu and my crazy work hours.. this I have finally got around to. I'm glad I did.

I've been such a mess of emotions about this. I admit that I had happy tears in my eyes when I was sent the first photo after her birth after seeing how beautiful she was, how great that everything went smoothly and now being an aunt for the first time by blood,  followed by grief tears later on because I don't know if I'll ever know this joy for a child of my own.

I'm trying to stay positive but it's like being told not to think about/worry about something.. and then it's all you can see/hear/think about. 

The time gap didn't help, I felt like a dick for not being able to visit them in hospital but knowing that because I was sick the best thing for everyone was for me to stay far, far away. As well as that, I didn't want to swamp the new parents, who I imagine are going to be tired, and flooded with visitation requests and messages.