An Outstanding Ovary-ation

So the plan was that we had the next cycle off so we could restrategise, maybe sacrifice a few pawns, sack some enemy buildings and.... Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh right, I certainly wasn't revealing my plans for total domination no no no... Make babies not war like I always say!*


Anyway, we were going to have a break, see what we wanted to do and go from there.

All of my internal organs lived in harmony, until the ovary nation attacked.

Seriously, in the last three weeks I've had three periods (or what I think are menses) and it's been frustrating to no end.

Normally I have one, maybe two days of feeling like a monkey is clawing out my feminine bits through a bloody orifice and just feeling lousy in general. (Chocolate DOES help.... Send much!!)

The last two haven't exactly had that appealing simian sensation so I have to wonder what they are. There has been a definite bleed though, each time so no spotting or anything.


I went to a doctor to alert them that my vagina was going on a rampage and he's like you're probably pregnant have you tried peeing on things?

It was pretty painful to A) explain that no, It would be a bloody miracle (haha geddit) if that was the case and B) I had had a blood test and several urine soaked sticks tell me that diddly squat was going on down there.

He squints at me with his "I'm a doctor and I know better than you" face and orders a test anyway. It's immediately negative, so I give him my best "told ya so!" look. He then suggests that I could have an UTI or a STD which is pretty offensive even though I know they're just ruling things out.

I know it's neither of those things because my partner and I were both checked for STDs prior to going through the IVF rigmarole despite an extremely slim chance of having any as well as no symptoms and I've had a UTI before - it felt like I was pissing razor blades, so I was afraid to go to the bathroom even though I felt I had to go constantly and I was completely miserable. This happened when I was a lot younger than I am now but that experience is one I will not forget in a hurry. So I'll eat my hat if it comes back as that.

It's just a bit frustrating when doctors assume they know more than you about your own body.

Sure, you might have more medical knowledge than me (I say might because this jerk wasn't my usual doctor and didn't exactly fill me with confidence) but why bother asking me questions if you're going to ignore my answers. Better yet, why did you bother asking me the same questions over and over if you weren't going to listen to my non-changing answer? 

                                      

*I don't think I've ever actually said that before