Prolactin Problems!

Hi all, I know it's been a while before posts but hubby and I have had our brains so chock full of baby-info that we're all just lucky I was able to function enough to turn my computer on and find the darn keyboard. 

So - Prolactin! What the hell is it and why have I never heard about it until now?

If you're like me and like text book definitions: 

Prolactin (PRL), also known as luteotropic hormone or luteotropin, is a protein that is best known for its role in enabling mammals, usually females, to produce milk. It is influential in over 300 separate processes in various vertebrates, including humans.^[4] Prolactin is secreted from the pituitary gland in response to eating, mating, estrogen treatment, ovulation and nursing. Prolactin is secreted in pulses in between these events. Prolactin plays an essential role in metabolism, regulation of the immune system and pancreatic development.

Thanks, Wikipedia! Buddy ol' pal! 

So it's basically a milk hormone that us females have schemed up to dastardly take on the milk formula giants..

Wait, that's not a text book definition, or even a dumbed down one... but it does give me a good idea for a dramatic movie... 

Anyway, I'm talking about Prolactin because apparently I have a problem with it. 

What is my problem? Don't I want my prolactin? Am I too good for prolactin? Am I procrastinating my prolactin? Do I say prolactin too much?

None of the above! 

I am the Godzilla of Prolactin! If the Great Depression was about prolactin, they could literally throw me at it (metaphorically, I hope) to combat it! If having prolactin was the key to becoming a Super Saiyan God then.... alright, I've made my point, and probably enough references to last this post through. 

Basically, my prolactin levels are too damn high, which is technically called hyperprolactinaemia but I won't be calling it that because it's a name that sounds awesome and also like it's trying to hard to be awesome at the same time. 

What does this mean for me or women in general?

Causes:


Levels can rise after having intercourse, eating a protein filled meal, being anorexic, having an under active thyroid, having liver/kidney diseases, having pituitary tumours (known as prolactinomas) chest trauma (which can include scars, shingles or even a bra being too tight - not just punched in the chest trauma), being pregnant, being stressed, having a breast examination, having an epileptic seizure, having minor surgery, having low blood sugar, being oestrogen deficient, nipple stimulation (oh, looks like foreplay is out now, guys!) doing strenuous exercise, eating certain foods like fennel etc. and some medications (namely ones that decrease dopamine or treat psychiatric, gastrointestinal issues and high blood pressure) including some extremely non prescription ones you might find at your local happening club you druggie kids you. 

Oh, and also, there can be no cause. Just to mess with you. 

One problem for me though is that when I hear DON'T STRESS....

...I find that I sort of stress A LOT MORE... 

It's kind of like an ironic process theory where you are told not to think about a certain phrase or object and then it's -

Damn, they're onto me!

Symptoms of Prolactinomas (tiny benign tumours that produce prolactin that are in the pituitary gland) and also elevated blood Prolactin:

• Symptoms can include expressing milk when you've got no real reason to do so (which is called Galactorrhea - the name is disturbingly reminiscent of diarrhoea or a bad super villain name from the nineties), having a messed up menstrual cycle, being pregnant, reduced libido, painful intercourse, acne or facial hair growth, infertility, headaches, visual disturbances, low bone density and reduction of other hormone production.
  
• If you're a man, well hold on to your testes because you're not safe either! As well as some of the more non-gender specific issues listed above, you're at risk or erectile dysfunction, decreased body/facial hair and rarely - enlarged breasts. 

Treatments:

Drugs, of course!

You can try living a stress free, sugar regulated life but as we've read above, that may not even be a factor in your case. 

Common medications can include Bromocriptine (which I like to call bro-mo for short) and Cabergoline which sounds a bit like Castrol Gasoline, but I have been assured that they are non-related.

These of course, will include side effects for bonus fun times! 

These could be light-headedness, nausea, headaches, sudden, new or increased urges relating to gambling or be sexual in nature and the usual bad guys like constipation or diarrhoea (covering both ends of the spectrum, so to speak) stuffy nose, vomiting, loss of appetite, stomach cramps, cold sensitivity in extremities like your fingers, having a dry mouth and the severe ones like slurred speech, swelling, sudden sleepiness unusual changes in moles etc. hallucinations or loss of co-ordination, shortness of breath etc. 

So this is the main reason why I'm not falling pregnant naturally. I knew going into this that my antagonistic thyroid would be a nightmare to deal with but I didn't realise how much. Not being a doctor (not certified, anyway...) or a specialist you really have no idea about half of this stuff that's going on in your own damn body until something happens and it's not good. 

I feel like this baby right now

So if you have issues with fertility or don't feel right - sluggish or anything like that, get checked out for any hormone issue because it could rule out a whole lot of crap and give you a proper direction to go in in regards to your pregnancy journey. 
They can test your bloods, and may even require a CT or MRI. 
It's a tricky balancing act because obviously you need prolactin, but having too much or too little can be problematic too.  

The important thing is to try to reduce stress. 

A study that included hypnosis on it's female volunteers found that there were more prolactin surges when the subjects thought about humiliation, or rage inducing thoughts as opposed to ideas about nursing. Which to me, is a bit ridiculous but in any case, for mental health alone it's good to discard burdensome memories about hurtful or bad times. 

It is easier said than done, of course but what do you have to lose by trying? 

Pictured - hubby and me throwing money at specialists and pharmacies