So today I wanted to chat about something that that happened recently and what kinda peeved me off. I know, a long list but it's something that's always bothered me.
I used to work in a fast food joint when I was much younger and it was always a pain to have people ask 'what's the girl's/boy's toy' when it came to ordering food for their kiddies.
Maybe it's just me, but I would have assumed the nutritional content would be more important than structuring your child's preference around their gender. When I became the manager, I was always telling the cashiers to ask if the customers wanted for example: the Bratz toy or the Hot Wheels toy.
I mean, it just makes more sense. That's generally the next question anyway - what is the boy's toy? What's the girl's toy?
Why not hit two birds with one stone by coming out and saying what it is brand wise, so the kids can choose what they want instead of what they think they're meant to have?
All this was many moons ago, lost in the winds of time much like my innocence and care factor.
Surely in 2017 we're leap years ahead of this, right?
Right?
Um, no. My husband and I were peckish before going into a movie the other day and were short on time, so we went to Macca's and got a happy meal each (because I could smuggle them in my handbag...oh so naughty) and the teenage cashier asked us if we wanted a boy or a girl toy.
I kinda wanted to tear her a new one but at the same time know it's not her fault. She's only young, and this sort of crap has probably been ingrained into her life from day one. Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. If you can drive it, build it or fight with it, it's for boys. If you can wear it, clean with it or if it makes you look prettier, hey, you know it's for girls.
OR IS IT?
I'm a firm believer that any child should have the right to choose their preference in play items, as well as colours. We shouldn't be taught from childhood that pink is a weakness, that it's for pansies and girls like it's a bad thing. As it's commonly pointed out, pink was originally considered a stronger colour and was therefore intended for boys initially until something went wrong, apparently.
One of my favourite books is from Cracked
and contained in it is a wonderful article about the affects colours have on people's minds. It's American, so they can't spell colour properly but don't let that detract from the awesome.
In it, they show that red is an attention grabber, making you act on impulses and even be more aggressive (hence why so many fast food joints use red in their colouring and why most of their customers are jerks), blue is a calming colour and can help prevent suicides (and is even effective in blind people) and pink - well, pink has been proven to pacify, or even sap the will to fight so effectively that it's commonly used in drunk tanks and in some prisons, it has been banned in opposing teams locker rooms like an illegal substance, and has been shown to reduce your ability to use adrenaline surges for violent actions.
It helpfully points out at the end though that just because you're wearing it, doesn't mean that it would affect you but rather the people in front of you.
Not sure if this would work for most gendered products aimed at children or women though.
At least no one should steal your pink tools, anyway.
As a child I had Barbies and all that.. Barbie herself isn't a bad thing. She's one of the best selling toys since like, forever, and for all that she's been trash talked about for her unrealistic proportions she's held so many important and 'gender breaking' roles that I think it's important for young kids to see.
It's not always a good idea to give children dolls though. Hell, most of my Barbies, Kens, Sindy's and whoever else tended to have dramatic spy adventures that usually ended in a car chase and a murder, or something else out of a horror movie.
Yeah, I was messed up. Particularly from one Barbie that I was secretly sure was a witch.
This variety of toys also gained me a deep magenta Jaguar... which I still have to this day.
I loved this car and when I was a bit older, I got into my first go kart.
It looked sort of like this but it had a number 5 on it. Red, black and the number 5.. my favourite colours and number? I could not have been happier with it.
I would build cars with my lego sets and let my crocodiles and other animal figures ride around in them.
Now I'm grown up I'm madly into monster trucks as well as art and comics. I'm terrible at cleaning and doing 'house things' or nurturing. Red is my favourite colour and I'm more comfortable in sneakers than I ever am in heels. Make-up remains a guessing game as to whether I can pull it off or not.
Which just goes to show that you can never tell what someone is going to be into based on gender.
They're not, not by a LONG shot.
I don't want this for any of my offspring. I don't what them to feel like they can't do something because 'it's for boy's' or 'it's for girls'. I want them to feel empowered, like they can do anything and do it competently and not have to doubt themselves. If they like dolls - there's no shame in that. If they like cars, that's fine too. If they like both in moderation - that's awesome!
But I tell ya right now, I'm going to keep the gender of our child an absolute secret because I don't want anyone else gifting me with little blue or pink things. I'm not doing a pink or blue balloon 'reveal'. As well as hating the whole 'colour' thing and the waste of balloons, I've seen too many of those videos on YouTube that seem to find the notion of kids being upset they won't have someone else like them enjoyable. Like it's a little war that they've lost because oh no, it's a boy so the girl's upset. Oh no, it's a girl so the boy's upset. It's ridiculous. Let kids be kids.
Sorry for the rant, as an apology here's some relevant memes:
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