Epic Rap Battles of Birth/rebirth

Well before I fully comprehended the media juggernaut that YouTube would end up being, there was a little thing I loved called Epic Rap Battles of History.

I'm a big fan of humour - things like this, Weird Al, Literal Videos, The Key of Awesome... they really get me through when I'm feeling low.

Or Key of Awesome guest starring in ERB....

Or Weird Al featuring on ERB...

They were particularly helpful to me when I was going through a really bad time filled with stress and anxiety. I'd never been confident with public speaking, but about a year and a half ago, I developed a random stutter, and sometimes when I spoke, it was barely intelligible or it was but I was speaking faster than Eminem on Rap God. For the life of me, I could not slow down because if I did, I'd start to stutter. It made my life hard, and embarrassing. Believe me, I certainly didn't need more help with that!

So, I made a CD for my car, updated my Ipod, played my way through multiple YouTube playlists of ERB at home - initially to make myself feel better and because I liked them so much. I found that eventually, I could sing along to these without screwing up and I slowly gained more confidence.

Sure - it wasn't the only factor. But it was a big help in getting me to where I am today - someone who can go on a massive rant and be understood the entire time, even if my rantee tunes out.

That and they're just awesome. A lot of Youtubers will just upload crap every day for the views they need. ERB put things up but only when they're satisfied it's good.

I've personally thought rap music would be better if they got rid of the rappers. Everyone complains about pop singers always being about love and things like that but rappers? With a few exceptions, they are the worst offenders for being racist, sexist, promoting crimes and the new thing.. mumble rapping, rhymes that don't rhyme and brag rapping. Like.. is there nothing else you can talk about?

In three minutes or less - ERB produces a great beat, has lyrics that they've actually thought about and researched (plus they rhyme), costumes and sets that are carefully prepared, excellent guest stars and they always surprise you.
So why does actual rap suck so much compared to this?

Hello, RomeoNovemberKilo....

In the space of three-four weeks, we have not only had my cousin's latest kid with his newest squeeze (have lost track of how many he actually has now) my other cousin's also had a baby - this was a surprise baby but a welcome surprise, another relative overseas has had another child and now, my sister.

Today - I have finally met this baby.

Yep, between a delayed whooping cough booster vaccine, getting the flu and my crazy work hours.. this I have finally got around to. I'm glad I did.

I've been such a mess of emotions about this. I admit that I had happy tears in my eyes when I was sent the first photo after her birth after seeing how beautiful she was, how great that everything went smoothly and now being an aunt for the first time by blood,  followed by grief tears later on because I don't know if I'll ever know this joy for a child of my own.

I'm trying to stay positive but it's like being told not to think about/worry about something.. and then it's all you can see/hear/think about. 

The time gap didn't help, I felt like a dick for not being able to visit them in hospital but knowing that because I was sick the best thing for everyone was for me to stay far, far away. As well as that, I didn't want to swamp the new parents, who I imagine are going to be tired, and flooded with visitation requests and messages.

Halloween Hullabaloo

Well it's almost Halloween - which we don't really celebrate here in Australia but it's safe to say we can all appreciate a good costume. And why should Americans have all the fun? Who doesn't like dressing up?

Exactly. 

Frankly, a nice healthy scare is good for you. Hell, typing this right now I'm kinda scared. My birds were going nuts in their aviary and when I went out to investigate I heard a weird noise, like a possessed goose. I couldn't see one though but it's been about an hour and a half since it began and I can hear this weird bird monster moving locations - perhaps walking down our street in order to get a head start on the year's spookiest holiday.

Personally, I think the fact that stores are releasing Christmas decorations *BEFORE* Halloween is scarier than most trick or treaters but hey, whattaya gonna do?

Also the influx of meme costumes and 'sexy' costumes... which I suspect may mostly be made up of the exact same dress just painted different and sold for a high dollar figure.

If you venture onto any social media platform you're bound to find a million re-posts of excellent outfits.

Like these amazing Archer and Ratatouille outfits.























Or how about Hank Scorpio's classic 'I didn't give you my jacket' moment immortalised in time.

Sticking with the Matt Groening's theme we also have Scruffy. The Janitor. And his bucket.







Or for a more recent pop culture outfit, here's Rey from Star Wars along with her trusty sidekick BBaGoodDog.

So, here's my favourites (from what I've seen this year - may not actually be from this year)

An Outstanding Ovary-ation

So the plan was that we had the next cycle off so we could restrategise, maybe sacrifice a few pawns, sack some enemy buildings and.... Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh right, I certainly wasn't revealing my plans for total domination no no no... Make babies not war like I always say!*


Anyway, we were going to have a break, see what we wanted to do and go from there.

All of my internal organs lived in harmony, until the ovary nation attacked.

Seriously, in the last three weeks I've had three periods (or what I think are menses) and it's been frustrating to no end.

Normally I have one, maybe two days of feeling like a monkey is clawing out my feminine bits through a bloody orifice and just feeling lousy in general. (Chocolate DOES help.... Send much!!)

The last two haven't exactly had that appealing simian sensation so I have to wonder what they are. There has been a definite bleed though, each time so no spotting or anything.


I went to a doctor to alert them that my vagina was going on a rampage and he's like you're probably pregnant have you tried peeing on things?

The Big Bang Babies

So I'm on vacation and due to the weather being shite, hubby and I were idling on the couch watching whatever was in and not depressing. All the interesting shows about food were making us hungry so we flipped channels a bit, mostly weird tween shows or renovations and the only exception was The Big Bang Theory.

Now full disclosure, I have always been sceptical of this show ever deserving its immense popularity but have watched the first twenty episodes of season one and found that despite some definite flaws it wasn't that bad.

The episode that came on was the follow up of Sheldon's proposal to Amy... I don't even know what season that is so I had a limited idea of what was going on I mean whaaaaat Leonard and Penny got married? Anyway, spoilers and stuff if you care.

(Edit: it's Season 11 episode 1 - aired Sept 25 2017)

Bernadette is told about the impending nuptials but has news of her own... She's taken a pregnancy test and it is positive. She's freaking out about it as Howard and herself had been careful as they didn't want this. She confides in Penny who encourages her to see it as the miracle it is as she herself was a surprise child.

When Bernadette finally tells Howard he has a bit of a hysterical moment because they already have one child and he decides they're not mature enough to have another one. Bernadette seems to be convinced that she wants the child but is still unsure.

During some social time together, Leonard and Penny are happy and supportive of the other couple, telling them they're great parents already and if they need anything to let them know.

Well, Bernadette has an idea about that. She suggests that Penny also conceive so they can be preggo together.

Baby Acronyms

The title of this post made me crack up because acronyms are of course, a big word covering up for a mix of letters standing for another big word - or several big words.

After visiting a few forums, websites, blogs and message boards, I feel the need to compile some of the acronyms I've come across in these strange uncharted waters.

Now a small elaboration - I love acronyms and in the case of one of my previous jobs even had to make up several new ones because the manager was super paranoid about other stores using our techniques to boost their own success. (This guy was a bit of an insensitive wanker at the best of time, and a miserable bully at the worst) the point is - I like and use acronyms. A lot.

My new job is basically jargon, jargon and translating what people are saying in real time into even more jargon.
It makes my job easier, in a way that defies logic and often makes me wonder if the next person can even read my notes or if they make their own acronyms up and misunderstand me.

In this day and age though, it must be impossible to avoid this kind of short hand writing.
Besides, anyone who's ever been on a chatroom or spoken to a lazy texter will pick up some of the basic ones easily.






Pregnancy acronyms are a bit different. Some of them are in place of some seriously complicated medical terms and others inject a bit of space or a bit of humour between what could be a painful or stressful term. For the rest - it could simply be a way of cutting down typing time.



So there you have it. Before you can say:

Check out my handy dandy list of acronyms to help you survive and keep your sanity!*

India Uniform India

This cycle we were almost set to go to to egg pick up next week. I had been on a new drug - Menupur and then Orgalutran. However my egg numbers were still pretty low, so my ob/gyn recommended IUI - Inter-uterine insemination. Yesterday I took my trigger shot of Ovidrel, a humongous needle in which the solution inside was actually quite a small amount considering. Today, we were up at the crack on dawn to get down to the fertility centre to deposit some brogurt, which they then tested and sorted out, cleaning it and putting into two tubes. We came back after about an hour to collect this and then ran across the block to see my ob/gyn to actually carry out the procedure.

 This took all of ten minutes, if that. He used a speculum, much like a Pap smear. I won't say it was comfortable but I was too nervous to think about it much, so I only felt a strange cramp like pain when the catheter was inserted. I had been warned about cramping afterwards so I hadn't expected it straight away or during the procedure. It wasn't very bad though, nothing debilitating. I would describe it as period-lite.

That's how we did AIH (artificial insemination by husband) - so if all the sperm deposited directly into my cervix give us a child, a slight discomfort is perfectly fine with me! 

I had to stay prone for a while, which is understandable but annoying because I'd had to drink lots of water prior to the procedure and my bladder was cursing me. Honestly, it wasn't as much or as bad as an ultrasound but when you're nervous... Yeah, it doesn't help. 

So the three of us were sitting there (well, two of us were, I was lying down covering my butt with a sheet.) discussing next steps for either way. 

Telling you now, never thought I'd be this comfortable with general pantslessness outside of the home or even with injecting a million needles but look at me go! 

To Shower, or not to Shower?

This blog is because I don't know what to do.

My sister - due in about two months time - has seemingly cancelled the casual family baby shower/BBQ. I'm not even sure why, as I've only heard about it in passing.

So now I'm conflicted because it's her choice and I'll stand by that - no question. On the other hand though - it's the first child on our particular side of the family and it does carry certain obligations. Thirdly.. I was looking forward to it.

I know baby showers are like small weddings these days - seemingly expecting you to hire out a small room, get caterers and decorators.. give mementos to guests... severe theming issues...
which bothers me. You hear jokes about baby showers being so extravagant because there isn't going to be a wedding ha-ha-ha but it seems like you're expected to have a shower, a gender reveal party, a babymoon and all sorts of things that are just blowing it out of proportion.

Yes, it's a big event but it doesn't need to be so big and expensive that it misses the point of relaxing with friends and family in anticipation of your impending birth.
It really does make it seem like we're going back into the whole 'women's lives revolve around babies and nothing else' mentality.

"It's just a casual get together...AT THE RITZ."

Deadly Dreaming Dexter Daddy

Last time we looked at a mother in the media.. now we'll take a look at a father in his various mediums.

If you're unfamiliar with this series, it began as a series of books by Jeff Lindsay and then spread into primarily a TV series but then also to a series of virtual games and comic books etc.

Please be warned there may be spoilers for both the TV show and the book series in this post.

There are always some differences between TV and book adaptions - some work out well like how Deborah (books) is meant to be blonde, busty and voluptuous while Debra (TV) could not be skinnier or more of a brunette however, she was clearly meant to play the foul mouthed ass kicking detective.

Rita and her kids - Cody and Astor are a hell of a lot more likeable in the TV show and TV Lundy replacing Book Only Chutsky was fine by me, even though I'm a fan of Chutsky. The Dark Passenger element was a bit hit and miss with the books... sometimes going off on tangents and involving a sort of mystical element and constant descriptions of dark things rearing up. Brian has more than a one cameo deal with the books and I love it because he's a great character, but I understand why the show couldn't do that.

Other differences like literally every character on the show banging literally every other character on the show is a TV drama thing for ratings and thank heavens for that because I'd like to think my local cops are doing more than just being impossibly incompetent at crime scenes, having forced arguments and banging all the time.

My husband and I have just re-watched the entire run of Dexter TV and I've been re-reading the novels as well. As well as stark differences in the quality of some of the characters I've come to notice that the writers of the show are terrible when it comes to writing the women. I know there was some sort of time lapse where the show basically follows the first book (more or less) but then deviates harder than The Walking Dead from that point on so I don't know if it was just meant to be loosely based off the book or if the writers said we can't wait until the sequel, let's just run with something else that we come up with!

What I wanted to focus on today was the Daddy Dexter aspect and how it differs from book to show.

Marvellous Mummy Mortisha

When people think about what kind of mother/parent they want to be, I'm pretty sure that they immediately think of their own parents and whether or not they did good a good enough job to be emulated. Besides that though, the media has a definite say in who we idolise or what we should aim to be like through stereotypes, subversion and certain imprinted tropes.

 There are plenty of what I personally would consider bad parenting examples in the media at the moment - the Kartrashians, Yummy Mummys, and well... basically any reality show scripted or unscripted that simply thrives on 'drama' and financial status or awkward situations. Hell, I once watched a show about different mothers giving birth and it was so painful I felt like I was going through it myself. This was when we had a Foxtel free trial. Lots of channels.. lots of.. weird.. shows.

In ordinary programmed television shows they more often than not pigeon hole mothers into a behind the scenes sort of role, usually in the home and being more of a support role to her family. Nothing wrong with that but thankfully these days it's a lot more diverse with different family types and more working mothers, single mothers etc.

The one mother I want to talk about today began life as part of a sort of anti-nuclear family newspaper cartoon that exploded into a successful television series, several movies, a cartoon series, multiple Super Nintendo/Gameboy games, a Pinball machine, figurines and dolls, various books and most recently a musical.

Sabbatical Piratical

So after basically being a sook for a few days, I've taken some time to get back to basics, or rather I'm pulling myself up by my strange, mismatched pirate themed socks.

That's not to say having emotions is bad.. seeing as how I don't normally have anything in me besides confusing rage, deadly rage, hilarious weird and blank kill-bot it was kinda nice to go through the right emotional spectrums and be human for once.

So yeah, have been getting back to basics - trying to reduce stress, keeping up with the vitamins (I've found a remarkable improvement in my hair and nail quality alone since starting to take all of these vitamins, so that's great) watching what I eat and started a new exercise regime.

Stress has been the biggest concern so far. The last few days I've found myself switching between severely agoraphobic times and then once outside my house - aggressive bouts of confidence.
That.. I don't know what's going on with.

I got my car serviced today and when the service assistant tried to up-sell me additional options I gave him a look. I'm not saying it withered anything, but it was definitely up there because I ended up getting the extras anyway at no charge and the guy nearly apologised to me.

Mopey update and sad gorilla gifs

Another day, another appointment, another scan.

Yeah, I successfully surfed my crimson tide and dismounted for a egg check-up. The numbers weren't great - in fact, despite all the additional crap I went through this cycle it didn't do a damn thing. I had to come back for an extra check this week because we weren't sure if one of the eggs was completely right or not because it was a lot larger than the others.

That was today, and we couldn't even find this extra large edition anywhere so we don't even know what the hell that was. We think it might have been a fluid sack that popped. Ob/gyn asked me if anything had hurt recently and I just sat there thinking because I'd felt a twinge the previous day but didn't worry about it as I hadn't wanted to stress too much.

I had felt so positive about this second scan because it had looked like we were going forward with egg pick up but again I went home empty handed so to speak. I'd had a week of holidays and I'm glad because I had about two to three days of sitting around listlessly planned now instead of all the home improvements and chores I had lined up. 

It's funny because you know it does no good to get depressed but apart from that second day when it really sort of hit home.. I've just felt kind of hollow. I wanted so badly to conceive but have yet again been told in polite, clinical terms that I'm a failure.

So we're having a month breather from the intense treatment I was doing. I'm to keep up the vitamins though. I'm also embarking on a fitness campaign not only to help my body but to distract myself.

My gym membership has long expired but I've taken to running around outside at work during my breaks and using their outdoor gym equipment which is pretty basic but does the job. 

I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would. I have more energy, I can see a difference in my body shape even though my weight hasn't changed dramatically. My endurance is growing and so is my confidence. A bunch of guys at work even cheered me on the other day.

Another plus is that because I'm working out at work, I get to spend more time with my partner after work and don't have to wait for dinner or go outside in the dark/early morning. 

In other news, my sister brought some ultra sound photos around the other day and she's been happier than usual. My friend's baby has just taken his first steps. We went to visit some of my husband's relatives over the weekend and got asked twice about when we were going to have a family. 

It wasn't invasive or aggressive. One asked about us and our intentions when the pre-dinner conversation turned to nephews and nieces, the other dropped subtle hints that my partner's new car would be the kind of car you'd want to have when looking to start a family. 

Both times left me feeling like shit.

Musings over dinner

The other day I went out to dinner with most of my immediate family at one of our favourite Chinese restaurants. My paternal grandmother passed away earlier this year which sucked. She was ill, so it's kind of a relief she went when she did, but we miss her a lot, especially my grandad. My maternal grandparents passed on a while ago - so I never got to meet my maternal grandfather and my maternal grandmother passed away when I was in high school.

Same for my husband, his father passed away not too long ago, his parents we don't really know as he was separated from his family. Hubby's maternal grandparents have also passed on. 

Basically, we never really had a chance to show them a grandchild but we thought we might have had a chance to show my grandmother before she went. 

Hopefully we'll still be able to present something to my grandfather, so they can meet each other. My aunt is always bringing her grandchildren around to hang out with him and I know he's stoked for my sister's impending baby as well. Then, at the Chinese, the family who runs it is known to us. We mostly see the owners, the parents, because they're always there working away but their children had mostly moved away for studies and things like that. 

So that night, we saw their daughter who we haven't seen for maybe, five years? She's had a kid too. 

It was the most perfect little baby - sleeping through the racket in the restaurant, wrapped up against the chilly air in adorable mittens, full shock of fluffy hair. 

Served up Yummy Mummys.... But have we had enough?

My mother told me about a reality show called Yummy Mummys, with a foot note that it's probably just going to be for laughs. Holy hell, it's something but I'm not sure if I can even make it through this first episode!

I'm not really a fan of reality television because let's face it, it's lazy, it's all staged, it reminds me that the Kartrashians still exist... You know, that kind of thing. My idea of a good reality show is Drawn Together. 

Anyway, this show is centred around three mums to be from Melbourne and one clique invader from Adelaide. 

Jane - a model - seems to be a quieter person than the rest, she's already a mother and seems to have the best dress sense.

Lorinska is a primary school teacher who doesn't seem to understand motherhood, she's afraid of breastfeeding due to a unfortunate incident when she was a kid but also thinks she'll just pop back into her pre-pregnancy size immediately. She does have some classic reaction faces though.

Rachel is my favourite so far, she's a state retail manager but is a bit more down to earth and has a sense of humour about it all. She kinda reminds me of a shorter version of Sarah Jessica Parker.

Over in Adelaide though we have a horrible caricature of a rich useless brat. This is Maria who feels that every mother should have a giant powder room, matching outfits for her, her man, baby and dog, and has apparently stock piled for a baby apocalypse judging by the amount of baby shoes and things she's hoarding. She's a self confessed label slave and monograms all of her designer bags to make sure everybody knows. 

Am I being too harsh on Maria? Nope. 

Gender Studies of Inanimate Objects

So today I wanted to chat about something that that happened recently and what  kinda peeved me off. I know, a long list but it's something that's always bothered me.

I used to work in a fast food joint when I was much younger and it was always a pain to have people ask 'what's the girl's/boy's toy' when it came to ordering food for their kiddies.

Maybe it's just me, but I would have assumed the nutritional content would be more important than structuring your child's preference around their gender. When I became the manager, I was always telling the cashiers to ask if the customers wanted for example: the Bratz toy or the Hot Wheels toy.

I mean, it just makes more sense. That's generally the next question anyway - what is the boy's toy? What's the girl's toy?

Why not hit two birds with one stone by coming out and saying what it is brand wise, so the kids can choose what they want instead of what they think they're meant to have?

All this was many moons ago, lost in the winds of time much like my innocence and care factor.
Surely in 2017 we're leap years ahead of this, right?

Right?








Um, no. My husband and I were peckish before going into a movie the other day and were short on time, so we went to Macca's and got a happy meal each (because I could smuggle them in my handbag...oh so naughty) and the teenage cashier asked us if we wanted a boy or a girl toy.

Mission In Vitro Fertilisation: Testosterone Gel Protocol

At my last planning meeting, my ob/gyn suggested a random method that might help boost egg numbers. This involves some HRT with tablets, a spray and oddly, a testosterone gel.


You apply it once per day at the same time, making sure it has enough time to dry/be absorbed before touching anyone or getting dressed etc. You generally apply it where it's not going to be rubbed off or in contact with another person straight away, or within 6 hours.
So this could mean areas like your stomach, thighs, shoulders or even your butt cheeks.

My ob-gyn said thighs or butt, the nurse said stomach or shoulders, the internet says upper arms or stomach and the 'information sheet I received says upper arms, shoulders and stomach and also contains a warning for me, advising not to apply it to my testes or penis which I am positive I'll be able to avoid seeing as how I don't actually have any. 

Anyway, it comes in a pump form dispensing 50mg of clear gel. 

Does that seem weird to use this? Isn't testosterone a male hormone? Why - yes, yes it is.
So why use it in IVF?

New Born Baby Bombshell

So yesterday I got delivered a bombshell - my elder sister and her husband are now expecting a wee baby girl at the end of the year.

Unfortunately, my husband and I wasn't able to be present to hear the news in person but the next day my mother was able to come around with the card telling us we're going to be babysitters and showing an ultrasound picture or two and a little gift of candy. 

I honestly thought that even with our struggles, we'd beat them to doing it because they'd never really mentioned that they were trying. Mind you, we haven't told anyone either so that makes sense. Of course, we're super happy for them. I'm a little worried that even with this news, I'm still going to get the expected Spanish Inquisition of 'when am I going to have a baby' bullshite.

There is a chance I might get overlooked in this though. Being the middle child, I am pretty much overshadowed by her. She's smarter, more financially stable, more confident, more successful and heck, a lot fitter than I am.
She can even paint her nails without cocking it up like I do inevitably!
People and relatives may just swarm over her news and ignore asking me about it.

Then I can get back to lurking in my shadows and being creepy, like my usual status quo.
I feel like I'm throwing her under the bus in this but I really hope this is the case and people give her the correct attention appropriate to her situation and not spend it asking me when I'm going to get up the duff like it's *just* that simple and I get to rack my brain to think of an answer that won't destroy me emotionally or attack this person or relative verbally like I'm already doing in my head.

Clinical Symptoms of Passive Aggressive Nurses

Alright, another rant.

Every-time I get to thinking I've been too harsh on my fertility clinic.. they do something stupid.
I know they're human, but sometimes they seem to unintentionally hate on me.
I can be pretty annoying, I will give them that but still.
Perhaps if I psychoanalyse myself, I'll discover that I'm venting my rage at them due to feeling semi-helpless about my own situation but no one wants to read that, this is the internet!

So.. after my last appointment with my specialist ob-gyn, I again had to order a metric butt-tonne of medications and what not, so I spoke with the clinic and we arranged for me to come in on Monday just gone to collect the items.

The person I spoke to seemed competent and helpful. So I turn up on Monday morning at the time we discussed to pick up my swag and collection of old fashioned terminology and buzz words.. I tell the receptionist what I'm doing there. She's like cool, wait over there in the naughty corner.

Perhaps she forgets I'm in hearing range, and literally like six steps away from her because she says to the nurse that comes out "I don't know, she's probably here for a test result or something."
This is after I have said to her, less than two minutes ago that "Hi, I'm Lucky Tiger, I'm here to collect the medication that I paid for last week.'
The nurse then comes over to me and asks what I'm there for.

Troubles of the Tiger Tummy and Thoughts Too

Last night my husband had a dream that I was pregnant.

Earlier in the week, a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant because I had a certain glow to me.

The other week, a friend told me she dreamt she was at my baby shower. 

Late last week, I was instructed by my obstetrician to take the trigger (a tiny needle to kick start ovulation that somehow hurt me more than the previous week of larger needles, both physically and mentally) in order to get my cycle going again. He advised that it would be an optimum time to try to conceive naturally, albeit to be wary of a slim chance of - if successful, having more than one baby. 

This week I've definitely felt off. I've had two days off work and missed family events because I've been feeling sick, nauseous, lethargic, have had headaches and no appetite as well as all sorts of bathroom issues you don't need to know about. Of course, I hoped it was something more than a bug but I've been too nervous to check. Not that it may matter, seeing as how several pregnancy tests have pretty much been recalled for false positives.

Counting your eggs before they hatch

Yesterday I went for a scan with my obstetrician.

The goal was to see how many eggs we'd managed to get lined up via all my various drugs. This guys is pretty good, expectation wise, we knew going in that we were likely to not have too many due to my AMH profile.

I think he was even being nicer to me that day than usual. The scan itself was pleasant even - well, compared to your average pap smear for example.
At the end of the day though - we didn't get as many eggs as we wanted.

He said it was up to my partner and I if we wanted to continue with the cycle but advised us that it probably wouldn't yield favourable results. Then of course, you have to pay the fertility clinic as veritable butt tonne of money no matter if you end up up the duff or not.

Which leads us to now postponing this cycle and trying again next month maybe.

Backhanded Apoloblog

Alright, so I was all ready to make an apology post to the fertility clinic because when I visited them last month to get my baggy of drugs and sit through a stabby tutorial (including fake skin pouch) I got a wonderful welcome.

"Hi Lucky Tiger! How *are* you today? Great! Come right this way, the nurse is waiting for you. Oh, how about that lottery winner on the news, huh?"

I left with lovely patterned bags of drugs, confidence and a free bottle of water.
They said 'Let us know when your period starts so we can update our records and arrange for egg collection."

So, the first business day of my period I called them to let them know, but spent nearly all of my tea break on hold. I managed to get through to the receptionist but she said a nurse would have to speak to me. That's fine and dandy, but I have to get back to work.

                                      

They said they'd get someone to call me back and I asked if it would be okay if they called me at 11:00 am, my next break so I'd be available. Sure! They said. I go back to work, where mobiles are verboten.

On my next break, I turn my phone on, and I have a missed call and a voicemail, timed about ten minutes after I spoke to the receptionist at 9:30 am. The voicemail just said 'Hi... you called. Call us back.' Which grinds my gears because I've just wasted my phone dimes calling my voicemail box when they didn't need to leave a message and I'd told them I wouldn't be able to take a call.

Adventures of a Human Porcupine

So we're actively counting the days now until we can start an actual cycle and I'm excited, nervous, and yes, kinda impatient. I'm also not looking forward to becoming a human pin cushion but what can ya do, eh?

Well, today was the day it begun. My friend had offered to help with the needles as she'd been through it before, but I'd gone through it all with the nurses so I was fairly confident with what to do. I'd been told to do it early, and at a consistent time so I woke hubby up early because I wanted someone there in case I did mess up but I thought it I had too much fuss or people around then I might freak out.

I know I shouldn't complain. Both of my grandmothers and my paternal grandfather have had to use needles everyday for Diabetes or what have you, so there's no reason I should get so worked up about needles for a couple of weeks, right?

Childhood Memories

So this week at family dinner, the topic switched to child behaviours and nightmares and some old memories were discussed.

My mother recalled that my elder sister would always try to stay up as long as she could, I was always easy to get to sleep as a child but my younger brother was an absolute terror when it came to nap-time. Dad mentioned that one time he checked in on my sister - it was 11pm and she was sitting up singing 'la la la la la' to herself. Of course, her battle to stay up all hours backfired on her too, like one time she fell asleep during dinner and face-planted into her food.

We got onto nightmares, and mum mentioned that on our first trip to Australia (I was about three then) my grandfather found a set of oven mitts that looked like a crocodile's jaws and came at me with them - jokingly of course, but that night I screamed the house down apparently, yelling incoherently about crocodiles.

Probably something like this

I was also terrified of crabs and vividly remember my mum sighing and getting up off her deck chair at the beach so I could stand up on it for safety

What I saw

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Of course, the crab just walked right past us both, ignoring us. Mum proved there was no risk, but I maintained my irrational fears for several years. I think it was to do with a book I had been given for my birthday (and I still own it, actually!) that had a rhyming section about crabs pinching ten different toes.

Probably what actually happened

Dinosaurs, cake, feelings and parties

Well my last post was a bit angry so hopefully this one will be a bit more upbeat.

Recently we went to a dinosaur themed 1st birthday and you better believe it was as cute as it sounds!

                                                  

We had super advanced notice so we were looking forward to it but also kinda apprehensive as well. 

Reason being.. we knew we were likely going to be the only people there without kids. 

This of course, was in fact the case bar one other couple. But it's a kid's party and not about us so of course we went and had a great time. It was kinda weird though, there were a few there that were old school chums that we tried to catch up with but every-time a conversation started it was immediately interrupted by a child saying something, doing something, or not being seen in the nearby vicinity and therefore likely up to no good. 

Error 404: Child not found

Another thing was that we weren't too sure what to do with ourselves or where to stand without getting in a kiddies warpath.